Does It Fit My Butt

5 Reasons Your Wife/Girlfriend Should Use DIFMB

DIFMB is an iPhone app that allows women to find clothes that fit. It is also an app that allows men to keep their sanity.

1. You Don’t Have to Go with Her to the Mall

I think this is self-explanatory. The only question is why do we keep getting tricked into this? The technique my wife uses is to pretend she wants to see the latest gadget at the Apple Store. Guess what? To get to the Apple Store you have to walk through women’s clothing stores. “Can you hang on a minute while I try something on?” What are you supposed to say? No? What kind of uncaring neanderthal are you? Of course you’ll hang on for a minute. 5 minutes. 20 minutes. An hour. DIFMB allows other women to track down clothes for her, so you can stay home and watch Netflix in bed while eating Doritos hoping the crumbs don’t fall off and stain the sheet orange, leaving you trying to explain why men don’t eat chips off a plate.

2. You Won’t Have a Growing Pile of Clothes That Haven’t Been Returned

Do this experiment: sneak into your wife/girlfriend’s closet and look for things that still have the tags on them. Those are the items that she either brought in the store or online, and once she tried it on realized it didn’t fit and promised herself she would return it. That means folding it up, putting it back in the plastic that she ripped to pieces getting at it, finding the cardboard box already in the trash, and taking it to UPS/FedEx/USPS to have it shipped back to the retailer. Either that, or she can go into a store, stand in line, and try to find an excuse for why she is returning that isn’t “It made my butt look too big/small”. Easiest way to avoid that inconvenience or awkwardness is to pretend that she’s “going to wear it one day” and never return it. Feel free to tally the price tags – I bet it’s about the cost of a new iPad.

3. She Won’t Have Her Confidence Destroyed Trying on Clothes

Men like their women confident in their bodies. Why? So goes a woman’s confidence, so goes her likelihood of doing the mattress mambo. When she tries clothes and they make her butt look too big, or too small, or the waist is cutting into her giving her a muffin top, once she gets a look at that in a mirror it’s head-to-toe pajama’s for a week. She can skip all that by using DIFMB. Other women have gone through the mental trauma of trying on clothes, and have only posted photographs of clothes they like. Your wife/girlfriend can instantly see if those clothes would fit her, and can get the details on where to find it for $0.99. That is a very, very, very small price to pay to keep her confidence intact. Very small.

4. She Won’t Go Broke Buying Clothes

If your wife/girlfriend is having trouble finding clothes that fit, an easy solution is just to increase the budget. More money equals better clothes, and better clothes fit better, right? Wrong. The amount of money you spend has to do with the fabric and stitching – not the fit. If she doesn’t care about fabric and stitching, then you can save a boatload with her finding clothes that to her are just as good, but at a fraction of a price. If she’s a natural bargain hunter, then this is a win-win.

5. She Can Make Some Pocket Change on the Side

If – and this is a big if – your wife actually likes shopping, she can make money on the side by finding clothes for other women. These troopers are on the front-lines of finding clothes that fit, and brave the mall changing room to upload photos that your wife can review and her leisure. If a woman likes what your wife has found, she will buy the details of where to find it for $0.99, and your wife will make $.50. The more clothes she finds, and the more women who like what she finds, the more she makes. Will it be enough for you to quit your job and live off of her? No. But it may cover the occasional latte and manicure.

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