Does It Fit My Butt

Why Are Women Terrified of Mall Changing Rooms?

It’s a crisis in our house when my wife has to find “something to wear” to an event. This event is usually days away, so shopping online is not an option: this is going to require a trip to the mall.

My wife is normally a happy, positive person going into the mall to find clothes. Coming out of the mall she is usually a depressed, frustrated, and despondent version of herself. Having gone with her on a few of these trips, I have isolated this change of mood to the changing room. The sequence of events is as follows:

  1. Happy wife walks up and down clothing isles, gathering an armful of clothing “in her size” (more on that later)
  2. She disappears into the changing room
  3. She comes out of the changing room empty-handed, depressed and frustrated

I have never been in a ladies dressing room, so I can’t be exactly sure what goes on, but I figure it’s something like this:

  1. Tries on article of clothing – Won’t zip or button because it’s too small
  2. Tries on another article of clothing – Zips and/or buttons, but is too big and falling off of her
  3. Tries on another article of clothing – Fits but is “not cute

This keeps up until she’s through all the stuff she carried with her into the changing room. Upon exit, the look on her face tells me everything I need to know: I’ll need to pick up a bottle of wine on the way home.

To me, the problem seems to be this whole “in her size” issue. Having inquired into the issue, apparently women’s sizes are based on numbers, not inches. As I understand it, they system goes like this:

This is my perception based on talking with my wife – blame her if I have it wrong.

I’m a big-and-tall guy, so I can’t shop anywhere I want. However, when I need something to wear for an event, I go somewhere that has clothing sized in inches, and I have them take my measurements. I’m in-and-out with an outfit in about 15 minutes, and I really only try the clothes on to see how they look, ’cause I know they will fit.

Seems to me, if women’s sizes were based on inches like men’s sizes are, a whole lot of stress can be avoided.

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